holy crap, am i still alive?

pinching myself, and seeing that my skin is no longer gray and my eyes are no longer glazed over i suppose the answer is yes.
yes, yes, yes.



my recovery from whatever the HELL took over my system the last three weeks is slow, but still progress. i've been able to go to work every day this week. (sidenote: i LOVE my job. i can't imagine NOT having a job now. i think back to myself at this exact point last year: jobless, lame, and totally boring and i can't BELIEVE i ever avoided having a job at all)


so yeah....last week i lived at my mom and dad's house so that they could take care of me. i watched lots of movies, talked to my mom a ton and looked at my brother's new baby from across the room longingly lol (longing as in, longing to hold her. not longing for my own. not yet, thank you!)
and aside from being deathly ill (it was decided i resembled a corpse for a few days) it was actually a really good week. it's so cheesy, but i keep discovering so much about myself as time goes on and last week was a week of growth for me. except width-wise, because i kept throwing up. hehe.
anyway, i'm just so grateful that even though i was and am still kind of sick, i have such a great family. i feel like they are all my heroes, especially my mom and dad. they're such great people i'm glad i've always been able to look up to them.
and i'm so grateful for my job, and how understanding they were of me having to take over a week off. i've been so glad to be back this week, it's such a great place.
and i'm grateful for derek, who has had me watching star trek: next generation. nerdiness is awesomeness. for sure.




anyway, that's all the update for now. i'm going to go stuff my face, as my appetite has been insatiable this week. like, seriously.


bah.

effing sick part 2

so, i was feeling better for two days exactly...
and then i felt horrible again.
and i mean HORRIBLE.



i woke up last night shaking so bad that i started crying. and derek had to rush in and comfort me. i know, i'm such a baby. but seriously.



i was given some antibiotics by my doctor. i took them for one day and stopped, because i thought they were making this worse. and because the antibiotics were for something scary and potentially life-threatening and i really didn't want to think that i had that.



well, i'm pretty sure i do. i started taking the antibiotics again today. cross your fingers, pray, send out good vibes, whatever if you can...

i REALLY don't want to go to the emergency room.

judgement.

it's ugly. i really, really don't like when people judge others.

i used to be really bad about it. i still struggle sometimes, when people are obsessed with throwing themselves pity parties or get married after knowing someone for two weeks or something.



but that's a new resolution: i'm much better about it now, but i want to be AWESOME about it. as in, NOT judging people, especially in a harsh manner. it's just a waste of energy.



love :)

effing sick

so, right after the most AWESOME holiday in existence



and the best week at work maybe EVER


and, and and.....




i got seriously sick with some kind of psychotic stomach bug.





ohmyeffinggoodness


i haven't been this sick since new jersey. moreso maybe even. and even though i've tried really really hard not to mope, i totally have. the only upside, and this is pushing it, is that i've....lost a little more weight. but i hate even saying that as an upside because i'm already thin enough and it really wasn't worth it lol. still, i'm trying to find a silver lining here.



anyway, i finally feel a bit better this morning. (knock on wood) and i'm hoping to be able to get back to work tomorrow and back to LIFE this weekend. i'm totally sick of my house, and it's become a huge mess. ugh. i have lots of cleaning up to do!



anyway, there's an update. since hanna is about the only person who reads this and she already knows, i don't know how necessary it was but it's all good :D

it's spring on my blog!

now don't think i'm jumping ahead of myself...i've been really good about not wanting the seasons to switch the moment they begin and pining for them once they're over....i'm actually just fine with winter but when it came time to re-decorate my blog, i was feeling for something bright & cheery to suit my demeanor :)



so....while it's still bundle-up weather for another couple of months (i like to pretend march is spring even though half the time it's not, but i mean come on, it doesn't exactly belong under the winter label...) it's sunny on my blog :D


and sunny everywhere i go.




can i just add....i love my job. i love it, i love it, i LOVE it. i cannot believe how blessed i am.




thuh end.

the way of nature and the way of grace....

the last two weeks (the week of Christmas and the week after) made me realize the following things:



i am blessed.
i don't need medication.
i have the best family in the world.
i have the best sister in the world.
i have the best in-laws and husband in the world.
my eating lifestyle has changed for good.
life can be simple if you don't spend all of your time complicating it ;)
life is BETTER simple.
i don't need material things, good weather or faux "busy-ness" to make me happy.
i dodged a huge bullet this year
life is better when you love YOURSELF
life is better when you love God




that's all.

sisters

Christmas 2010

i wanted to write a blog about the last two weeks, especially this last week and the awesome time i got to spend with my mom and my sister jenn.

we had such a good time. we watched tons of dr. quinn, ate yummy Christmas treats and helped prepare the food for new year's day :)
i was so, so glad i got to spend the whole week just hanging out with my mom and my sis :) jenn and i used to share a room, and we've always been so close.
now she's busy and i'm even decently busy ;) so we don't get to spend as much time together. this week, we got to hang out every day and i loved it! i'm so, so glad i have such a wonderful family especially my sister and my mom. jenn has always been someone i can rely on, look up to and learn from. she is truly a beautiful, self-sufficient person. whoever she marries will have to battle me to get my approval, because not just anyone gets my sis!!

love ya jenn :)



below i've posted a few pics, some are old and some are new. you can probably tell which :) thanks to the new photo project i'm doing i've been taking a lot more pictures than usual and i'm so glad. i already am grateful i got to document this amazing week with my family.

my wedding day :)

classic "us" myspace style lol

:)

my mom has always thought this was a really weird picture haha

naf days in the old building

dq while preparing for the new year's feast :D

we made awesome queso dip

sisters :)