mountains and valleys
gulches and rivers and plains
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Friday, February 6, 2015
what the....
lately has been crazy.
and given the kind of life i've had the past few years (soon i'll be saying several. oy vey! i'm getting old...) i don't say that lightly.
here's the thing i've come to understand....even though i've made progress as a person, and my joys are sweeter and life is better over-all, i still experience what feel to be the lowest of lows. my challenges sometimes seem like a round of shots fired, paused for the reload and then fired again. i'm a better person now than i was a year ago. i'm happier and stabler and gentler and more free. but when challenges come i feel like they hurt exactly the same, maybe even more sometimes. and i'm still meaner than i want to be and still unforgiving of people and myself.
i'm just trying to get into a more sustainable rhythm in life. i don't expect anything to be easy. i know that i'm an intense person. it's what gives my creativity its life and its edge and so i'll embrace it. but i want to be able to ride the intensity like a wave, not get swallowed up in the undertow. does that make any sense?
do i ever?
hmm.
and given the kind of life i've had the past few years (soon i'll be saying several. oy vey! i'm getting old...) i don't say that lightly.
here's the thing i've come to understand....even though i've made progress as a person, and my joys are sweeter and life is better over-all, i still experience what feel to be the lowest of lows. my challenges sometimes seem like a round of shots fired, paused for the reload and then fired again. i'm a better person now than i was a year ago. i'm happier and stabler and gentler and more free. but when challenges come i feel like they hurt exactly the same, maybe even more sometimes. and i'm still meaner than i want to be and still unforgiving of people and myself.
i'm just trying to get into a more sustainable rhythm in life. i don't expect anything to be easy. i know that i'm an intense person. it's what gives my creativity its life and its edge and so i'll embrace it. but i want to be able to ride the intensity like a wave, not get swallowed up in the undertow. does that make any sense?
do i ever?
hmm.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
raze&rebuild
razed
i break like the glass castle
i fight so hard not to be
broken
so many times by you
broken bones, broken spirit
breaking even
either way you go
what you do and wont
even when i think
i couldn't possibly
break any more.
i break like the glass castle
i fight so hard not to be
broken
so many times by you
broken bones, broken spirit
breaking even
either way you go
what you do and wont
even when i think
i couldn't possibly
break any more.
Thursday, January 22, 2015
plaster love
a heart made of plaster
cheap, chipped
shiny
while i sang away for you, day & night
pretending it was sturdier ware
then, true to form,
it gave out
cracked, crumbled
dust
what i have now is nothing
and that fits too
cheap, chipped
shiny
while i sang away for you, day & night
pretending it was sturdier ware
then, true to form,
it gave out
cracked, crumbled
dust
what i have now is nothing
and that fits too
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