Thursday, February 12, 2015

not yours

mountains and valleys
gulches and rivers and plains

Friday, February 6, 2015

what the....

lately has been crazy.

and given the kind of life i've had the past few years (soon i'll be saying several. oy vey! i'm getting old...) i don't say that lightly.

here's the thing i've come to understand....even though i've made progress as a person, and my joys are sweeter and life is better over-all, i still experience what feel to be the lowest of lows. my challenges sometimes seem like a round of shots fired, paused for the reload and then fired again. i'm a better person now than i was a year ago. i'm happier and stabler and gentler and more free. but when challenges come i feel like they hurt exactly the same, maybe even more sometimes. and i'm still meaner than i want to be and still unforgiving of people and myself.

i'm just trying to get into a more sustainable rhythm in life. i don't expect anything to be easy. i know that i'm an intense person. it's what gives my creativity its life and its edge and so i'll embrace it. but i want to be able to ride the intensity like a wave, not get swallowed up in the undertow. does that make any sense?

do i ever?

hmm.

Thursday, January 29, 2015

raze&rebuild

razed
i break like the glass castle
i fight so hard not to be

broken
so many times by you
broken bones, broken spirit

breaking even
either way you go
what you do and wont

even when i think
i couldn't possibly
break any more.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

plaster love

a heart made of plaster
cheap, chipped
shiny
while i sang away for you, day & night
pretending it was sturdier ware

then, true to form,
it gave out

cracked, crumbled
dust
what i have now is nothing

and that fits too