i feel free.
i can't even begin to explain what i'm feeling....the hope i finally feel, after years of despair watching my body turn traitor on me, never knowing how it was going to end....
finally, i am coming up on a year since my first surgery. i feel again as though i have all life ahead of me. but it's better than i've ever felt, because this time i am going back into the world hopeful but armed. hopeful for all the good the world holds, the opportunities and excitement.
armed to the TEETH with my own self-worth. i would not go out into the world before, i shrank back behind people i used as security blankets and crutches. i feared the world and what it had in store for me.
now? are you kidding? i'm heading out into the world as a capable, smart, hard-working, fun, attractive, enthusiastic person who intends to make her dreams come true. the big ones, the small ones, the weird ones, and the funny ones. especially the funny ones.
i am ready to go back into the world ready to LOVE instead of throw up my world-class walls in people's faces who try to get close. i am ready to bond, to care, to develop loyalty for my ragtag team of adventurers.
oh, you can apply for this team directly via "you're awesome and going out to tear up the world? me too!" transmissions. i will get them. duh. and trust me. ;)
right now....."to the world as it appears to be right now...." i'm shattering my "champagne glass" and setting out into the world as someone with a lot to offer. i hope i see you out there, too.