Tuesday, August 31, 2010


last night i had a complete renewal of faith in friendship.
after an iffy...frankly...crappy couple of weeks in friendship (in most regards, anyway) last night in a time of need, two girls were there for me without me even having to ask. i don't know why i didn't think of turning to them on my own, probably because i've become a little scared and cynical about friendship the last while...but they both reached out to me when i needed it and offered a shoulder to cry on, so to speak.
i couldn't be more thankful.

thank you, thank you.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

when you're a nerd....

just my luck, the guy interviewing me is a jock. from the look of it, a big jock. "hi." he sits down across from me. he's wearing a white polo, a baseball cap and basketball shorts. don't be biased, i scold myself. just because he's dressed like a high school football player with something to prove doesn't automatically make him a moron.
"nice to meet you," i say, giving him a big smile.
he seems surprised that i'd use such a phrase. it takes him a moment to say, "likewise," or something along those same lines. i wonder briefly if he's forgotten that this is a job interview and not just some happenstance meeting or social call.
"so, tell me about yourself," he says, sitting back in the most painfully "i'm trying uber hard to look casual and cool" pose i've ever seen.
i begin tell him a bit of my work experience and he interrupts me. "tell me like, your hobbies and that kind of thing. like, about yourself." he says, looking genuinely pleased as though i should be thrilled he's a "cool interviewer" and not a "regular interviewer" who wants to actually know about my work experience and skills.
regular mom and cool mom. regular interviewer and cool interviewer. i almost laugh but stop myself.
"well, i love to write." a look of confusion passes over his face. "i love to be outdoors," i add quickly. the confusion quickly switches to understanding and approval. "i'm big into computers, i like nerdy games and that kind of thing."
his face looks terribly confused again. in fact, he's staring at me now like i'm some kind of anomaly. i can just hear his thought process. attractive girl. likes computers. plays nerdy games.................(blank)
what kind of games do you play?" he asks, exaggerating his casual seated position just a little more.
"computer games mostly. i'm sort of addicted to world of warcraft," i joke.
he stares at me.


"that's what i play the most," i finish.
"well..." he trails off a moment, looking out into The Distance at Something Really Interesting before looking back at me. "not that i care or am into those kind of games or anything like that," he assures me, "but let's talk about this...aren't world of warcraft and starcraft the same thing?"
"oh!" i exclaim. i'm not sure which startles me more, the fact that he knows what starcraft is or that he thinks they're the same thing. seeing that he's staring at me in that spaced-out way again, i add, "well, no they're not-"
"my buddy plays starcraft," he continues. "i tried world of warcraft once. i mean, isn't starcraft just world of warcraft, but in space?"
i have to fight back the urge to laugh out loud. "i know about ten people who would kill you for saying that," i tell him. it's meant as a joke, of course, but he suddenly looks defensive.
"well i mean, not that i know about those games..." he tries a different angle. "i mean, world of warcraft is where you build up armies and fight other armies, right?"
this is starting to become painful. my nerdy sentiments are not only offended, they're ripped open and bleeding freely. the hapless jock barrels on, intent now on proving that he knows what he's talking about to the Hot Nerdy Girl. "like, you have cities and stuff?" he demands, almost aggressively.
"well, you build up characters," i say, trying my best to be delicate. but it's obvious delicacy isn't this guy's forte.
"right, like cities and armies and stuff." he says.
now it's my turn to stare. the jock adjusts his hat so it's tilted perfectly to the side. i force a smile. did this interview really just happen?
"i played that game once, but i wasn't very good at it." he says after a moment of looking off into space.

no kidding.

Monday, August 23, 2010

oh the seasons change.....

k summer....that's your hint to move on....as much as i adore the blistering heat, hazy afternoons and constant sense of lethargic "is this a dream? oh wait...no..." you've overstayed your welcome.
i do like a few things about summer, mind you. i love summer mornings and especially summer evenings with their radiant sunsets that melt into warm summer nights...i like bbq and smores, and ice cream...i like the fourth of july....
but the fourth of july was over a month ago....and i'm ready to trade bbq for hickory farm's sausage logs and cheeses, pretzels and pumpkin bread....i'm ready to trade even the warm summer mornings for crisp fall mornings and cold fall nights....(which will soon enough become WINTER nights! ah! i could die with joy for winter nights where the snow on the mountains and on the ground make the night bright even when the moon is hiding. woooo! but that's jumping ahead too much...)
i love fall clothes. i hate summer clothes. i can't wait to trade in my boring jeans, leggings and stupid short-sleeved shirts for sweaters, jackets and coats, and well...the jeans remain....
i can't wait to see the leaves turn into bright reds and flaming oranges...i can't wait to have hot drinks and walk down at riverwoods...i can't wait to go up to gateway mall and chill and not be thinking fml because it's so effing hot outside....
thuh end.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

it's been awhile....

cue britney spears!
actually no, cue the scorpions, motley crue, warrant, quiet riot and whatever other hairmetal bands you want, because that's all i've been listening to as of late.
as you can probably tell by my playlist haha
i've also been watching a bunch of documentaries about hair metal, an extravagant, excessive, crazy part of a the decade i was born in, where the only thing bigger than the guys' hair were their....nevermind....
moving on....i got brave and weighed myself today after off-and-on weeks of "dieting" and letting the fit hit the shan....and i haven't gained a single pound. nope, not a one. i sort of stared at the scale, lol'd, and then got really annoyed because my perception has been so out-of-whack that i expected to find that i'd gained five to ten pounds in the last month or so. but apparently the days i've "done well" have balanced out the days i haven't....this week i'm getting a gym pass so i can take the focus less off of calories and put it more into actual fitness again...i want to eat whole foods like fruits and veggies and not be worrying about calories because that's just absurd. so there you have it.
i've been brainstorming a lot on a new story idea and i'm really, really excited to begin. taking my wise sister's advice and really trying to find my "voice" with this one...it will be interesting to see what kind of voice comes out after the last couple of years with very little writing at all...the story idea is pretty dang badack though, so let's hope i can do some justice.
in finding "inspiration" for my story, i'm planning a few things like a visit to the salt flats, going up AF canyon and hopefully! going to a gallery display of a photographer i really, really love in september....
all for now...