you are here <---

those self-destructive avenues we wander down, ignoring the signs telling us to turn back or to keep out. we don't like to ask for directions. we ignore signs. we don't bring a map. and even when we can feel ourselves getting more and more lost with each turn, we don't stop. what do you do about it? what can you even say in your own defense, for arriving at a fork in the road and choosing the path that you know ends in a murky swamp or a sweeping cliff, or dark and endless woods? self-destruction is the ultimate in harm- you do it to yourself, and like quicksand you can't get out.

and you chose it. you made it that way.

back to square one

that's what it feels like, when some of your closer friends all start dating people at the same time.

 i'm the odd one out, back to square one.

?

it's easier to think
everyone is lying
there's always an agenda
nobody really thinks about others over themselves
"i want you to believe me." why should i?
"i want you to trust me." how can i?



what is it? we're all human.

why are you so surprised?

when we learn to fear

when do we learn to fear? i've been thinking about this a lot lately. that attitude of, i'd climb high....but i don't want to fall. at a certain age we become practical, and practicality can kill dreams.

here's what i've learned, though: things hurt for a short time, and then you get over it. the more you face down those things that make you shiver and shake, the less of an effect they have, until they don't anymore. it's true, there's real danger in life. but if you spend your entire existence avoiding danger, you miss just about everything.


i've been through some of the things i feared most in this world the last few years, and i've survived. so i'm not that scared anymore. the way i look at it, bring it on.
most things are worth the risk.

wanderer

pretty sure i'm nothing
here to be walked on, here to be kicked
and take it
and that's it

i'm too old now to laugh when someone else gets hurt,
too old to call it funny

but too young to feel sorry for myself
and especially too young to admit it


sometimes i look back, and realize there's nothing to see
so all i can do is look forward
leave hints of where i've been before
and signs on the roads i don't want to go down again

i guess i'll just wander
until i'm old enough to stop and rest
and old enough
to pretend to forget