admissons

i got married too young


i used to be the most selfish person i knew. by far.


i used to base my self-esteem solely off of my looks


everything i've ever criticized about someone else has come back to haunt me.



i used to hate more people than i liked.



my brothers didn't want me to come on our family disneyland trip when i was in high school.


i stole my first boyfriend from his girlfriend just to fill the missing space of a friend that moved out of state.







but now?


i spend almost ninety percent of the time i'm NOT at work thinking about my kids there.


i try every day to make someone else happy.


i look for the good in people, and don't pay attention to the bad


i no longer think i'm better than everybody else.


i Love people. and i love God.

catch up

so, life has been more of the same lately. but i figured i'd do a little catch up post.


firstly, i'm loving my job, aside from the fact that i had to call in sick today because i have NO energy anymore. i went to the doctor and found out that my iron levels are exceptionally low, so i have some new iron pills to take that should really turn things around. let's hope :)


overall now i've lost like twenty pounds since getting sick two months ago. i now weigh 130, give or take, and i'm starting to look like a runway model. i'm eating a lot, and hopefully when i get my iron levels up i'll stop losing. also i'm going to have my colonoscopy over my spring break, and i'm crossing my fingers that everything will come out alright from it. (no pun intended, hardy har:P)


hmmm what else? it was my birthday last week. we celebrated it at school with the kids, which was really cute and fun :) but i've been really too tired to to anything but read all of the harry potter books over and over again. i'm going to start watching some of my favorite anime to break things up a bit lol.


i know....so boring. seriously. but i figured i'd best update.



oh, and keep japan in your thoughts and prayers!

begin again

i'm excited to begin again.




life is this new, beautiful thing. i for the first time in a couple of years, i'm not waiting for time to hurry and pass until i can "be happy."


i'm happy now, and i want time to....well, take its time lol


i'm so excited for spring. so excited for everything. life is AMAZING!

the greatest gift....

you know what the best part of waking up every day is for me lately?




being me.

i know that may sound kind of weird, but here's the thing:

i love myself. i am finally a person that i love to be. i feel like a good person, worth something.

i spent the last couple of years hating myself. nothing makes life worse than hating waking up and seeing yourself every day, and i don't mean simply physically. waking up and seeing all of your inadequacies and failures written all over yourself. all of your bitterness and hate.
sometimes i felt ashamed to be me, because of the way that i behaved. i felt trapped inside myself.


that was me then. but now i wake up, thrilled to go to work each day and be with kids i love so much they might as well be related to me. i love coming home and being with my family, and spending time with people who love me. i love doing things that enrich myself as a person, and my life....


because i'm worth it.



and knowing that, and loving myself....is truly the greatest gift.

ready for spring to....spring

week one of being full-time at my job was a great success :D


now, i'm ready for a restful and maybe even somewhat fun weekend ;)

life is great. spring is coming, and i'm so excited for all of the outdoor stuff i'm going to do this year! even though i know it will probably snow a few more times before spring truly settles in, i'm okay with it because i've been hearing birds outside the last few mornings. life is returning, slowly but surely, everywhere :)



i can't wait to see flowers, and blossoms, and even BUGS again hehe

wooooooo

whew....sorry about those last couple of emo posts....everyone has their days i guess :)



got promoted to full-time at my job yesterday and worked my first full day today. it was amazing. i love my job beyond words.
spring is in the air, and i'm more than ready! i can't wait for all the fun that spring and summer will bring. now i just have to be patient ;)



life is good.