Friday, June 17, 2011

one of those narcissistic, embarrassing, vain surveys....

yep. all about how cool i am....designed so that i can LOL at my own jokes....
and you're free to join me.

1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
a "fun-sized" butterfinger bar. would have been a lot more "fun" if it was big. jeez.

2.Where was your profile picture taken?
in my bedroom. i was like, houseridden for months yo.

3.Can you play Guitar Hero?
probably not really anymore. it's been eons and years.

4.Name someone who made you laugh today?

5.How late did you stay up last night and why?
till about three-thirty am. tanya and i went to dennys and observed the she'eps in their natural habitat....we then went to walmart and spent an hour looking at cop sunglasses...then decided not to get them hahaha

6.If you could move somewhere else, would you and where?
i'm not sure. maybe california, because then i wouldn't have to worry about SAD.

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
meh, i'm not sure

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you on your FB list?
well, all of my family....and derek and tanya.

9. Do you believe exes can be friends?
i sure hope so, since i'm doing that right now.

10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?
nom nom

11. When was the last time you cried really hard?
um...when i freaked out because of this medication i'm on making my hair fall out. i know, i know....vanity....

12. Who took your profile picture?
my computer, named Johann

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
probably myself because i'm so hot.

14. Was yesterday better than today?
the day part was meh, but then last night was Teh Epicness.

15. Can you live a day without TV?
oh yeah. i'm not a tv person.

16. Are you upset about anything?
i'm too stoked on life for such nonsense.

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
yes. i've had excellent examples of "worth it" relationships in my day, i'm sure i'll know how that feels.

18. Are you a bad influence?
i was when i was psychotic. now, i'm a good influence :) and proud of it!

19. Night out or night in?
i've spent so many in that i'm thinking OUT

20. What items could you not go without during the day
water, my myriad of pills, and a bathroom. hey, i'm being honest.

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
meh, i don't want to bother checking

23. How do you feel about your life right now?
uh oh...don't get me started. i LOVE my life right now. it's far from what would be considered "perfect" but who cares? life doesn't have to be perfect in order for me to be happy. i love everyone and everything. it's crazy.

24. Do you hate anyone?
nope. what a waste of energy

25. If we were to look in your Facebook inbox, what would we find?
things that are so scandalous, you'd want to wash your eyes out with ralphie soap.

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
oh jeeya

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
no...i don't think so....

28. What song is stuck in your head?
spanish caravan by the doors.

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be?
my favorite escaped criminal so we can run away together.

30.Wanna have grandkids BEFORE you’re 50?
um....i have no idea.

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
pay my rc willey bill

32. Do you think too much or too little?
lol...too much for sure. would anyone want to admit if they thought too little?

33. Do you smile a lot?
oh yeah.

34. How many hours a day do you spend on the computer?
i'm not sure...lately i've been writing a lot though

35. If you could be anyone else for a day, who would you be?
my alter ego

37. Chicken or Beef?

38. Mac or PC?

39. Have you ever punched anyone in the face?
before eating....

40. Have you ever been punched in the face?
before eating.....

Monday, June 13, 2011

feeling young

stayed out late a couple of nights ago for the first time in months. it was EPIC.

i've been watching an anime called canaan lately, and i'm mad in love with it.

alphard (with the dark hair) is totally heartless and awesome.

i finished it tonight, which made me sad....but now onto the next! and i've been writing a bunch too! my story is damn good, just to let everyone know. be stoked. i am.

i love feeling young lately. you're probably thinking, "well, you are young."
yeah. but i've felt old for the last couple of years. and to top it off, my health problems are the kind that old people typically have. so there.

haha kbye.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011


sometimes you miss someone, even though you know they don't miss you.

Monday, June 6, 2011

simple little things

sundays at my house are all about church, family, relaxing and food (hehe)

this sunday was no exception. church was wonderful, we ate bbq and had a delicious cake. i played outside with scout and stood out in the sun for about an hour just staring at the beauty of nature hahaha

it was truly lovely.

i really do love the simple little things about life.

being outside, talking to aaron till two in the morning. talking to alyssa till even later ;) waking up early (don't ask me how i do it hehe) hanging out with all of my family members, taking pictures of beautiful things, my dog scout, going on drives with bekah, going on walks every day, reading my scriptures and reading conference talks, appreciating music, reading the great gatsby/fawning over how hot Robert Redford is in the weirdo film adaptation.....i could go on and on.

i know, i'm waxing so cheesy here, but life is wonderful. and i think it had to really suck the last few years for me to realize that. i have suffered a lot, but my capacity for joy has expanded even more.


Sunday, June 5, 2011

i'm having a love affair....with summer

srsly, omg i know it's scandalous

this summer is going to be amazing. why? well, let's see:
it's the first summer in two years that i haven't been horribly depressed.
i get to nanny my little sister and take her swimming, to parks, hiking, whatever we want to do! it's going to be a totally outdoorsy, fit summer and i'm mad stoked.
i look really good so i'm not self-conscious in my summer clothes (hey, i can admit the truth)
i'm going to be visiting/getting visits from my dear friends in logan, and we always have so much fun!
i'll be working at the autistic summer school program. enough said! yay!!!
i'm on medication, etc for my colitis so i don't feel tired all the time (this was especially bad last summer)

and lots of other things i can't think of right now. all i know is, i'm so excited to spend the summer outside, and make new friends, and hang out with both of my sisters a bunch :D plus, working at the summer school will be a blast! i will probably make a decent amount of money this summer, and i'm going to go hiking a lot. it's my new hobby :D i can't wait to have bbq every night (my family is nuts about bbq) and go to the parades and strawberry days! i can't wait to have late weekend nights at dennys! there are a million bajillion things i am stoked for, and it's all starting now :)

summer....i love you

Friday, June 3, 2011

this is the end.

today was the last day of school.

i went to see my kids yesterday. i finally texted mrs. h and asked her if she'd mind if i visited. she didn't.
when i walked into the classroom, i was thisclose to bursting into tears, i was so happy to see everyone again. i wanted to hug all of the kids as long as i could- but autistic kids aren't always the biggest fans of hugging haha
except for one kid. he told me earlier in the year that he loved me, and i quote: "miss rachel, you're all i think about. i just love you." he came up and gave me a big hug, and then proceeded to sit as close to me as he could and told me tons of stories the rest of the time.
i talked to every kid, even though some of them don't say anything back. i had little "inside jokes" with a few of them that i grilled them on, just to make sure they remembered them ;)
one of the kids, who loved to tease me and was admittedly one of my favorites, if having favorites is even possible- went right back to teasing me. he kept looking at me and grinning. it was so cute.
one of the boys told me he'd missed me and he wished i'd come back. he told me i wasn't in their yearbook. "i wasn't here long enough," i said. he asked if i wanted to be in their yearbook. i teased him that yes, i did, because i didn't want them to forget me.

when i left yesterday, i was somewhere between tears of sadness and tears of joy. i was so happy to see my kids again, and sad that this might have been the last time.

today i went back in to get an end of the year dvd mrs. h made with pictures of all the kids throughout the year. i didn't get much time with the kids, school was almost out.
when i left with my dvd, i felt like it was one of the most treasured things anyone could possibly give me. all of the kids get one too, so while i'll never forget them, hopefully seeing me in the pictures will help them not to forget me.

i hope so much i can go back next year, to the same school. but if i can't, i'll find a job doing the same thing at another school. there will be other kids for me to work with, and other kids for me to love. but there's no such thing as replacements with people, i definitely know that's true.

good thing i have room in my heart for as many kids as i'm blessed to work with :)

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

i make myself lolersk8

i'm quite brilliant at times
but only when there's a full moon, or flooding in some part of the world
otherwise i'm kind of a dumbass