time passes so quickly, i am amazed.
i was standing outside on the deck today, looking at the mountains. the first reds and oranges of the changing leaves are visible. the rest will follow quickly.
autumn never lasts long in utah.
spring doesn't either. and that's what was so weird standing on the deck today....i swear it was yesterday i was standing there and the mountains were lush and green, the trees covered in blossoms. spring and summer flew by so fast. i cannot believe that autumn is upon us, and soon winter will be also. almost a year has gone by since i first got sick with this illness. almost a year since i started working at foothill and discovered how much i love working with autistic children.
life doesn't take its time. we really do have to seize the day (newsies style hehe) or the day freaking seizes us. i feel like i've just been dropped out of a time tornado- i can't believe the months have sped by like they have.
conference in a way magnifies this feeling because it makes me more aware of a six month mark.
yesterday i was thinking a lot about last conference in april and where i was then as opposed to where i am now. i realized that i'm not as happy now as i was then. i was as sick as a dog in april, but i was closest to the happiest i've ever been in my life. i'm still happy now- but my patience with my illness waxes and wanes and right now it's waning. plus i have debilitating back pain that's really getting in the way of my job and life in general. i spent half of friday at the emergency room because of some complications with my uc.
all that said, who cares? my physical state shouldn't determine my happiness. i mean yeah, i need help with my back pain because it's distracting at best but still...i decided sunday to be my happiest anyway and had a great day that started with conference and ended with dancing under the stars with jenn, tyson and ryder. it was awesome.
i'm ready for the season change, even if it snuck up on me ;) the cold front this week will give me a chance to wear my awesome pirate boots and pirate coat, among other things. i'm stoked for hot chocolate and cider and all manner of festive fun things :) before i know it, it will be spring. but i intend to make every single day count.