Thursday, May 2, 2013

a love letter to life.

 this post comes after one of the more difficult weeks i've had. my last hospital stay was really tough and i was finding it REALLY hard not to be negative and defeatist for some reason. luckily, i have an amazing support system around me, including my dearest missionary jenn. by the time i left the hospital, i was feeling like a different person. it's been a really amazing week!    

   it is absolutely INCREDIBLE to me the way that life works. i am baffled day after day by how honestly beautiful it is to be human, by what complex beings we are and our endless potential. i know i might sound cheesy and maybe even a little pretentious in my wording, but seriously...

life has stretched and molded and tested me in ways these past few years i would never have imagined. i have gone through things that i don't think i would have anticipated surviving when i was nineteen or twenty, before all of this really "began". my view of myself used to be so one-dimensional. who i was, what i cared about, the things i wanted...they were like little strips of paper taped to a posterboard, just waiting to blow away with the next strong wind. just waking up and LIVING each day is such a different experience now than it was a few years back. i feel like my soul was shaken awake from slumbering through adolescence. my soul, the old part of me, the infinite part. it's as if it were in hibernation and finally shook off the sleep and came into action. the lens i see the world through is just so different than i ever imagined it would be. i feel like there's an understanding in me that only that old part of me which has always existed somehow, could possibly possess. in so many ways, i feel limitless! and i am meant to be limitless. we all are!

i hope for EVERYONE to have the chance to view life through a different lens, to struggle and to transcend. to realize that you are a LIMITLESS being, worth so much more than you or i could possibly understand. we are able to experience life on such a grand scale- every moment can be filled with emotion and every moment can mean something. the dark places you find yourself in, you are meant to rise from. you are meant to BE MORE. going through things that seem hard and horrible serves to broaden your very capacity as a human being. take every chance to take on the hard things and RISE ABOVE them. WIN. go to bed every night knowing you've accomplished something and that you're on your way to being the best human being you possibly can be, and living to your maximum potential. the more you do this, the more you realize what you are capable of. and when you know what you're capable of, you will stop letting things happen TO you and you will HAPPEN instead. you will never again be satisfied being a victim of anything.

human beings are the most amazing and beautiful of creation. like i said above, i am honestly baffled daily by the experience i get to have in living. we are not animals, passively going through life with limits on what we can be. we are granted that capacity to become MORE, and all i want for everyone is to realize that. in that realization there is unimaginable joy.

-love, me

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