a note i should have left,

dear minivan driver:

i want you to know that although you parked like a douche bag, taking up TWO spaces because you didn't want anyone to park next to you....
(and let's face it...your minivan isn't that nice anyway. in fact, it was kind of the opposite of nice...but i digress...)



although you parked like a douche, mr. or mrs. minivan....my car is small enough that i parked next to you. i parked next to you, and i LIKED it.

yep. i squeezed my car in so that it was right next to yours. and when i opened my door to get out of the car, it was reaaaaally close to touching your door. in fact, if i had been a fat person getting out of the car...my door and your door would have made a baby.


they didn't, because i'm not. but that's not the point.


the point is....it's cold out. and busy. it's the holiday season, and no one wants to park five thousand miles away from the entrance of borders and then walk in the twenty degree weather to the door. you had a good parking spot, right up near the front, but you were rude enough to attempt to deprive someone else of the same little bit of luck. that's just rude, mr. minivan. and that's why i parked right next to you, because it irked me that anybody would be that rude and feel so entitled to take up two parking spots so that nobody could park next to their ugly minivan just because. i mean seriously.



when i came back out to my car, i almost wrote a note and stuck it on your windshield, but i decided not to. just because you had to be a jerk and apparently hid your Christmas spirit where the sun doesn't shine, didn't mean that i had to do the same thing.


so merry Christmas minivan driver. i hope you get coal in your stocking :D