Friday, April 15, 2011

letting go

today, for the first time since derek and i separated back in february, i looked at some of my wedding pictures/bridals.

it seems like lifetimes ago that he proposed to me. in reality, it was nearly exactly three years ago, in the spring of 2008. the engagement period flew by.

now, looking at those pictures....i see a kid in a wedding dress. i look so, so young....and so does derek. i see us happy in those pictures, but i can't remember very well when we both actually FELT that way.
i look at our faces.....we were happy once. we loved each other. but we weren't right for each other, and we both know it now.

he and i ran some errands yesterday, and he looked so happy. i told him so. he said i looked happy too. we were both smiling, glad to see each other happy again. i'll be stoked when he finds the woman that will be the one to make him happy for eternity. there's no bitterness there at all.

overall, i'm just grateful that we've both been able to let go. there was pain for us both, but it's a distant memory. we checked out awhile ago, and the only baggage we have left is what's sitting in our apartment, waiting to be cleaned out.

i'm glad we can let go, that we can be friends truly because we care about each other, we just didn't know how to make each other happy. and i'm glad that we both have another chance to find the person who will make us happy eventually, whenever that is. i'm amazed at the pain i have been able to avoid- i know what we're doing is right. the Lord is with me, and i have complete confidence that my life is going exactly where it's meant to.

1 comment:

jennsdaisypatch said...

I'm so happy for you!!!! I know you will find lasting happiness!