i think you can feel two ways:
really angry, because Life had the nerve to pull tricks on you when you were unsuspecting
accepting...and okay, because after all....you're still going to be okay.
i'm still going to be okay. i'm not sure what's going on with my health right now, but i feel at total peace anyway because i've had some really incredible blessings. i trust the Lord's plan. i know that His will is what will happen, and that it will all work out.
even though derek and i are separated, i trust that it's the right thing. i love being his friend, and i'm so blessed that we are still going to be friends and can still be there for each other. being back at home, and with my family, i feel at peace that right now this is exactly where i'm meant to be.
my job is wonderful, all of the people in my life (including derek and his family) are so wonderful, and even though most people might look at my life right now and think, "wow, that sucks." i'm oddly happy. and at peace.
i cannot stress enough the peace i feel. and it's the first time in a long, long time that i've felt this way.
life, no matter how difficult, can still be happy. we can still be alright.
we just need the faith.
i feel like such a different person than i was months ago. it's weird. but you know what? i feel like i'm finally ME. i'm finally someone i LIKE to be, someone i'm PROUD to be.